SHADOWS … or why you should go where the wild things are
This is another chapter of my book THE HERO INSIDE; and this is an interesting one as it explains how and why we should access the dark side of our mind…
Enjoy!
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Bruce Wayne seems to have a rather untroubled and happy upbringing as an only child. His parents Thomas and Martha are not only loving and caring but they are also wealthy and devoted in providing the best education they possibly can for their son.
But his blissful childhood takes a sharp turn to the dark side. He falls into a dry well where he is attacked by swarm of bats which traumatises him and triggers a life-long fear of bats. Days later he attends an opera performance with his parents where he is so frightened by the performers wearing bats costumes that he begs his parents to leave. Outside the opera house on a side street, Bruce witnesses how his parents get murdered by a mugger.
Orphaned aged eight, young Bruce is brought up by the family Alfred. Throughout his childhood and teenage years, he remains a traumatised outsider, driven by guilt, fear and anger. As an early adult he manages to find his parents’ murderer and decides to kill him but an assassin from a rivalling mafia clan kills him first.
In a moment of insight, Bruce decides to leave his life behind and embarks on a 7-year long world trip to channel and control his dark character traits. Steeled through the immersion in the underworld and high-intensity training in combat and ninja-methods, Bruce finally returns home. Intending to eradicate the evil in his crime-ridden hometown Gotham City, Bruce re-invents himself as the vigilante superhero Batman.
This is the story of Batman begins starring Christian Bale.
Bruce Wayne says at one point: ‘I guess we’re all two people. One daylight, and the one we keep in shadow.’
During the day he is Bruce Wayne, a wealthy American playboy, philanthropist, and owner of Wayne Enterprises, by night he turns into The Batman, a dark knight and vigilante who chases criminals. What Bruce is referring to are called in psychological terms the shadow traits.
Not only Batman, but heroes in general do face their shadows.
But what is the shadow really?
The shadow is the unknown “dark side” of our personality; it consists mainly of primitive, negative human emotions and impulses like sexual lust, rage, envy, greed, selfishness, desire and anger. As this part of us is not visible from the outset, Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung coined it our ‘shadow’.
According to Jungian analyst Aniela Jaffe, the shadow is the ‘‘sum of all personal and collective psychic elements which, because of their incompatibility with the chosen conscious attitude, are denied expression in life’’.
Whereas some of our character traits are very obvious and open, some are rather hidden. And it is often these hidden traits we don’t want to deal with; those traits which are a bit darker, evil, and off the norm.
Psychological research suggests that if you really want to understand the sheer endless complexity of your life, you must first understand your inner-self and everything that comes with it. Everything means that you have to deal with aspects of yourself that are not easy to face.
Suppressing magnifies
Think about it. From early childhood on, society and our close environment teaches us to keep certain emotions and character traits under wrap as they are commonly regarded as not very civilized and not accepted by our society.
As children, when we expressed certain parts of ourselves, we often received negative and restrictive feedback from people around us. Thus, we tame ourselves and hide our dark impulses. We learn to be civilized and norm-abiding members of what we think is a ‘normal’ society.
We suppress our unwanted, dark parts to a point that they become completely eradicated from our conscious mind.
However, suppressing and ignoring our shadow doesn’t mean it is not there anymore; it just pushes it from our conscious awareness, it is hidden in a dark corner of our mind. Like a window on a computer we minimize but which still keeps operating in the background.
As poet Robert Bly rightly says, ‘the child puts all of these unwanted parts into an invisible bag and drags it behind him into adulthood’.
The bad news is that anything that is resisted or suppressed will only get bigger and look for release. Any part of us we disown can turn against us; our shadow is merely a collection of these unwanted parts inside us. It is our enemy within.
Projections and their inherent danger
The bigger issue: Our shadow can work in ourselves on its own without our full consciousness. It is as if we are temporarily on auto control. We have outburst of negative emotions and behaviours. We do and say things we do not want to and later regret our words and actions.
The other big danger of suppressing and ignoring our dark side is psychologically called ‘projection’: This is an unconscious defence mechanism where we project negative parts of us onto others; in doing so, we scapegoat them. So, if we are annoyed by someone`s rudeness or anger, there is a high likelihood that this is a dark trait we ourselves suppress.
These projections unfortunately distort reality and can create a dangerous mismatch between how we perceive ourselves and behave in reality.
Remember John Steinbeck’s masterpiece EAST OF EDEN? The story centres around the lone farmer Adam Trask who always prefers his son Aron over his second son Cal who he makes the scapegoat and black sheep of the family. This is because Adam projects his shadow on poor Cal, his unconscious anger and disappointment.
There is a similar constellation in Arthur Miller’s equally great piece of literature DEATH OF A SALESMAN. Its protagonist, the unfortunate travelling salesman Willy Loman, projects his bad hidden traits onto his son Biff which eventually determines the tragic fate of this story. Projections unfortunately happen all too often in father-son relationships.
Sometimes there is even collective projection like in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD where the innocent Tom Robinson is made victim of racial collective scapegoating. It takes a quintessential hero like Atticus Finch to reinstate justice.
Japanese author Haruki Murakami said, “Just as all people have shadows, every society and nation, too, has shadows. If there are bright, shining aspects, there will definitely be a counterbalancing dark side.”
And Mr. Murakami is right. The dark chapter of Nazi Germany taught us what can happen when a whole society starts projecting and scapegoating a minority; it gets very inhumane and dangerous.
Pull your shadow into the light
What is a way out of this dilemma?
The answer is: Better than suppressing our shadow, we need to shed some light on it, we need to know it and own it! We have to appreciate that the shadow is part of ourselves and makes us complete as a person. As Jung writes “There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”
Accepting our darkness allows us to own it, integrate it and ultimately control it.
Finding our whole self is a tough journey of course. Who is really keen to visit and acknowledge their negative side?! It is a bit like DANTE’S INFERNO: Before making our way out of “hell” we must wander through the dark depth of our inner shadow. This is the complete opposite of many self-denying spiritual methods of denying, or ascetically disciplining ourselves.
The light cannot exist without the dark. It is about facing these dark sides and balancing them with our positives; only this will create harmony within us.
Embrace your shadow
The message here is: Visit your shadow, embrace it, learn from it, and master it. It will make you a complete person; it will drive you to self-acknowledgement and integrity and away from projections and scapegoating others.
We will be able to deal with our dark emotions and not become our emotions. We will embrace our flaws, realize that we are by no means perfect and no longer fear certain aspects of ourselves. With a better self-awareness, we have a clearer and more accurate perception of the world and our environment
If you have trouble finding your shadow, just think about what really irritates you in others; it is likely that those annoying traits define your very own shadow. Identify what kind of fear or hate is behind them and take on their energy and use it for your journey. People who are the biggest nuisance in your life often offer the biggest lessons for you.
Another way to look for your shadow is to spot actions you take accidentally; Freudian slips or bad habits and repeated behaviours that become a negative pattern in your life.
No matter what your shadow might be; be aware of it, shed some light on it and deal with it.
Heroes and their shadows
What about heroes? Do they deal with their shadows?
Absolutely. They often go down the darkest and deepest parts of their soul and only through that become a whole person and fully integrated.
Sometimes they literally have to face a personified version of their shadow. Remember FIGHT CLUB? The timid protagonist meets Tyler Durden (played by Brad Pitt) who carries all the rawness, ferociousness and dark traits the main character suppressed for too long until his life became a mediocre boredom. Only by dealing with his personified shadow, he becomes a complete version of himself and finds some excitement in his formerly dull life.
The interesting about many good stories is that the villain often carries the shadow traits of the hero. The heroes then learn over their journey that they would become like their nemesis if they do not manage to master their own dark side.
Exactly this is what happened in Oliver Stone’s movie WALL STREET. This story is about a young, ambitious man called Bud, played by young Charlie Sheen, who badly wants to make a high-paid financial career on Wall Street. He meets the glamorous and successful, but equally unscrupulous, banker Gordon Gekko who becomes his dark mentor. Over the course of the story, Bud realises that Gordon Gekko is his shadow-self, that he will eventually become as immoral and unscrupulous if he doesn’t change his course in life. Though Bud is lured and blinded by Gekko’s money and power at first, he ultimately uses his shadow of ruthlessness and assertiveness for good and thus defeats evil Gordon with his own weapons.
Sometimes it is a side character that learns his shadow lessons from the main character. Remember FORREST GUMP? Lieutenant Dan finds in Forrest his hidden shadow traits like naïve optimism and innocence; traits that Lieutenant Dan always suppressed and hated in himself. Only when Lieutenant Dan addresses them, he finds true happiness.
In some movies, a personified shadow even carries traits that the protagonist envies. Like in ‘SILENCE OF THE LAMBS’, in which the FBI agent Clarriss Starling craves the charm, elegance and polished speech of the serial killer Hannibal Lecter; traits she never embodied due to her simple upbringing.
Most often, the hero is confronted with his inner shadow and goes through a learning circle. Like Bill Murray in GROUNDHOG DAY; he has to go through an infinite time conundrum and is constantly confronted with his selfishness and cynical arrogance until he finally acknowledges his dark side and manages to balance it with his good characteristics; only then is he released from his time capsule.
Similar story in AS GOOD AS IT GETS, where the Jack Nicholson character is strongly confronted with his sociopathic behaviour by his gutsy love interest Helen Hunt before he can turn good.
One of the best and most prominent examples of shadow work can be found in STAR WARS. Luke as well as his father Anakin carry this enormously forceful shadow within them. Luke visits his shadow and accepts it as part of him and from that he learns to master it and turns it into something good. Anakin on the other hand remains unaware of his shadow and fails to control it; thus he turns to the dark side and into Darth Vader.
Play with the wild things
Remember Maurice Sendak’s fabulous children’s book WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE?! There is a big lesson for all of us in this tale: The main character is an angry little boy who gets sent to bed without dinner. Instead of suppressing and projecting his anger, he embodies his dark side and goes with the wild monsters, his shadow traits, on a memorable trip. He literally goes to where the wild things are and comes back a bigger boy.
It is very interesting that our shadows not only hold destructive forces but also powerful elements that can enrich our life. Think about it: A little grain of aggression could strengthen our assertiveness; a pinch of anger could help our energy level. We just need to control it. Once our personal shadow is fully integrated into the conscious mind, we become a stronger and better-adjusted person.
There are endless creative possibilities if you unleash your inner shadow. Even some of the biggest cultural movements are based on it. Think of the Punk movement, Southern gothic, the Film Noir series, Hieronymus Bosch or the black paintings by Spanish master Francisco Goya. Many classic masterpieces were made by artists addressing the shadow side in themselves.
Due to societal or peer pressure, even some positive traits like anti-authorial behaviour or critical thinking and disobedience might have been relegated and buried deep down in our unconsciousness. We have to find those hidden traits and embrace them.
We are less than we could be without our shadow. A big part of our energy is trapped, as it is labelled by our conscious self as bad and negative.
Dig for those buried little treasures and free the wild woman or wild man inside yourself. It will do you good.
Carl Jung again: ‘Taken in its deepest sense, the shadow is the invisible saurian tail that man still drags behind him. Carefully amputated, it becomes the healing serpent of the mysteries.’
More simply put by GAME OF THRONES’ hero Tyrion Lannister: ‘Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.’
True words. Now go out and work your shadow. Heroes do.
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For the impatient and hurried
Three steps to find your shadow:
1. Annoying people
Make a list of people who annoy and irritate you most. List all the attributes you find annoying about them. Some of these attributes are shadow traits you are projecting on them.
2. Freudian slips
Pay special attention to Freudian slips, or things you do or say subconsciously in the heat of the moment. Chances are, these are some of your shadow traits.
3. Journal dreams
According to Jung, your shadow can be found in your dreams and the archetypes appearing in those. So, put pen and paper next to your bed, write your dreams down and analyze them.
