PURPOSE
… or why you should be a flying arrow
George Bailey is an ambitious young man. He wants to escape the small hometown he grew up in and go out and travel the world and do something ‘big and important’. However, every time he saved enough money to embark on his journey, something comes in his way and keeps him in his hometown: He has to help his father, do a friend a favour or spend his savings on a family emergency.
A few years later, he is settled in his home town with a lovely family and he runs his father’s business. George Bailey comes to the realisation that he completely failed in life and is contemplating suicide. His life did not go the way he planned it to go: he got stuck in his small hometown and never did something what he believes is big and important.
Before he can take his own life, the second-class angel Clarence Odbody appears and proves to George that his life was the complete opposite of a failure. He shows George a dystopian future with a world in which he never existed: In this parallel universe, all his friends are worse off, the village was taken over by the bad guy and his wife ended up as a bitter lone woman.
Only then George realises what his purpose is: not doing “great things” but many small things in a great way. He realises that he made all the villagers around him happier and better by acting helpful and courageous. Now that he understood his purpose and realised that his life had a meaning he now can fully appreciate his life and be happy.
This is the story of Frank Capra’s classic ‘It’s a wonderful life’ with James Stewart as George Bailey.
A purpose creates focus and clarity
George Bailey and other heroes go through their adventure with all they have, they do not give up and are always on a trajectory to fulfil their mission even if it means risking their own lives.
Why? Because they have a purpose they follow.
Other call it a calling or the meaning of life. No matter what you call it, it is basically the strong idea that you follow a goal that is larger than yourself, which gives your life a sense, which proves that you are here for a reason, and that your only and precious life is good for something.
All heroes believe in something; their life journey has a strong sense of purpose. If they don´t have a purpose in the beginning of their journey, they do so in the end. It is their purpose, their belief in a higher goal that makes them get up in the morning and expose themselves to risks and adventures that could cost their life. In a pure hero´s story the purpose is apparent in every single scene.
Though we might not have a purpose in every little episode of our life we absolutely have to give our life a purpose; at least we should try.
Think about it. Obstacles and challenges feel easier when you do have a purpose. You know that they are a natural part of your journey to fulfil your purpose. Without a purpose setbacks feel like bad luck and foster misery.
A purpose also helps you to get your priorities straight; your life becomes less muddled, less complicated and stressful. You have a filter that decides what is important to you and what is not. You are like an arrow flying towards its target, more focussed and stronger as you have your purposeful goal always in sight.
Since your purpose is mostly external — be it helping to improve literacy in developing countries or just simply making other people’s day-to-day life a bit more endurable through subtle acts of kindness — it makes us less self-centred as we feel part of something bigger which is outside ourselves. A nice by-product is that we have less time to contemplate ourselves, which significantly reduces mind chatter; often the source of anxiety and depressions.
Speaking of health; there are studies that linked having a life purpose to a longer and healthier life and being more resistant to mental illnesses.
Think about it. If you have a strong purpose as opposed to a pure pleasure-seeking existence, you will automatically take more care of yourself, of your body and mind because you know there is still something you have to live for.
There is a form of psychotherapy based on finding your purpose / the meaning of life called logotherapy. This theory was invented by Austrian psychologist Viktor Frankl and is based on his own experience as an inmate in a concentration camp. Frankl observed that the Auschwitz internees who were most likely to survive were those who felt they still had a purpose in their life.
The tragedy of Gazza
Think of the opposite: not having a purpose. In that case, we do not have a path to follow so we try to follow someone else’s. This inauthenticity might harm our soul. Without your own clear path, your true potential might be lost.
Without a purpose, there is nothing to fight for. Your life feels aimless. That can make us vulnerable to anxiety, boredom and, in case you have an addictive personality, abusing substances. As we don’t have clear purpose, we make our only purpose satisfying our addictions.
Just think of the tragic tale of Paul Gascoigne. Known as Gazza he was probably the most gifted and most popular English footballer of his days. His whole purpose was playing football and to be the best footballer he possibly could be. After Gazza retired, he lost his purpose. He started drinking and using drugs. He beat his wife, spent some time in jail and was seen stumbling through hotel lobbies asking complete strangers if they could pay him a drink. As his former football colleague Gary Lineker rightly said: ‘Hopefully Paul can find some sort of goal; he needs a reason to want to get better.’
Of course, not everybody who doesn’t find or loses their purpose ends up like Paul Gascoigne, but without a purpose it is very likely that your life feels more hollow and pointless.
Oh, and don’t confuse a sense of purpose with happiness and pleasure. Happiness is often a fleeting moment, it is what happens on your journey, it comes and goes, it is merely situation based and mostly short-term. A purpose goes much deeper; it gives us a strong sense of direction; a sense of meaningfulness and a sense of overall fulfilment and integrity.
Like Fyodor Dostoyevsky said in his seminal work ‘The Brothers Karamazov’: “The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”
Living a purposeful life is not always easy as acting on our purpose is often outside our comfort zone and what we think is the common norm; sometimes living a purposeful life doesn’t feel right. In this case you have to trust your gut and your heart and keep on following the path you think is your true way. It can lead you off the path of convenience but it will make all the difference.
Our longing to believe that our lives have purpose for something bigger beyond our lifespan drives us to work extra hard and feel the true pain. Our purpose guides our actions from the past through the present to the future, giving us a sense that we are on the right track.
People who live their purpose also suffer less from death anxiety. If you have the feeling that you´ve done what you wanted to do in life, the idea of death comes much easier.
How to find your purpose
Haven’t found your purpose yet?
One way to find the purpose is pure honesty. Be yourself, be the pure authentic you. If you do the things you love, if you surround yourself with people you want to be with, if you travel places you genuinely want to go, and if you follow your true passion, it is almost impossible to live off your purpose.
One other way is to make a fictional interview with your older self and ask her or him what they truly enjoyed doing in their past life and what they valued highly. Then go and do what your future-self valued and enjoyed.
Take a look at your values, take a look at things that ignite you and set your heart on fire. Your purpose is somewhere in there. The intersection of your true values and passion is normally the sweet spot of your purpose. It is where your adventurous journey begins.
Purposeful heroes
All heroes have strong purposes to live and die for. If they have to go to hell and back by fighting for their purpose, they will. And they will get deep satisfaction along the way; no matter if they fail or succeed.
Spartacus’ purpose is to free gladiators. Luke Skywalker’s purpose is to fight the empire. Batman’s purpose is to eradicate crime in his city. James Bond’s purpose is nothing less than to serve his country and save the world. Over and over again.
A purpose does not have to be that grand. Take the wonderful Amelie in the eponymous French movie. Her purpose is to make all the people in her little Parisian hood a little bit happier in their day-to-day struggles.
Sometimes heroes start without a clear purpose in the beginning and only find their purpose on their journey. Remember Rande McMurphy in ‘One flew over the cuckoo’s nest’? Played by the great Jack Nicholson. He starts as a hedonistic nihilist but in the end, he makes it his strong purpose to improve the inhumane conditions of the inmates in the mental hospital he sits in.
The story ends tragically for poor Rande but we can tell that fighting for his purpose made a positive difference to the circumstances in the hospital.
Think of Holly Martins the protagonist in the seminal thriller The Third Man. He is a non-believing drunk in the beginning but during the course of his journey he finds his purpose and starts believing in integrity and serving the higher good. Even if it means losing his best friend and the love of his life.
Getting through this thing
Heroes believe in their purpose with all they have. There is one scene in ‘Empire Strikes back’ that demonstrates this very well:
Luke lifts a sunken X-Wing out of a swamp using his force. “I don’t believe it,” says Luke. “This is why you fail,” replies Yoda. Only when Luke starts believing he is truly ready to take on the evil empire.
It is striking that a hero’s purpose is almost always aligned with serving a higher good, making things better, and improving society as a whole.
As Robert Kennedy put it concisely: “The purpose of life is to contribute in some way to making things better.”
True words. When you follow your purpose do it in an unconditional way; do not think of any returns on investment; think of it truly giving love for its own sake to your partner or loved ones and do not expect anything in return. It will do you good.
Listen to Kurt Vonnegut: “We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.”
Having a purpose is not only good for your personal well-being, it gives us direction and ultimately sense, a justification for why we are here.
There is no more profound feeling of long-term fulfilment and true happiness than knowing your path, following it and knowing you make a difference.
What is your purpose? Go and find it. Once you found it, follow it with all you have. Heroes do.
